Monday, April 25, 2005

Church of Christ Anthem

Music and words by Jeff Wilhite. And believe me, it's twice as good with music. I mean singing.

Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn
Ever'body's goin' to Hell
Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn
Hear those sinners yell.

They coulda got right when they had the chance,
But they had to go and smoke and cuss and dance.

Now all of those punks
Who didn't get dunked
Will be wishin' they had listened to us well.

Damn, Damn, Damn, Damn...

Next time: Verse 2, wherein we all build gymnasiums, institute small groups and remove the "Church of Christ" from our signs, desperately hoping we'll be able to trick a few of those people who snuck over to the Baptists.


life_of_bryan said...

Pondering the cliches of a traditional upbringing, in the style of Dr. Suess...

Stand up for Jesus
Sit down for prayer.
Eat weekly crackers
Or pack your bags for down there.

Guide, guard, and direct us
Through monthly potlucks,
Through fellowship dinners
And casseroles that suck.

Fun summer youth trips
With no mingled swimming.
Neither shorts nor hand-holding,
Lest controversy be brimming.

In with projectors,
And out with marques.
Out with the old hymns,
And in with Praise Teams.

Several Sunday services
At morning and night.
No matter the changes,
We've always been right.

Matthew said...

*Riotous Applause*

shane said...

Man, I tried to write a verse, but I can't think of anything that rhymes with 'flannel graph' or 'complete theological ignorance' and kept the meter nice and rhythmic.